One night, my boyfriend and I wanted to explore the new cluster of BTO flats in his neighbourhood. We went up to the 35th storey to check out the unblocked view of the densely populated town. As the common area outside the lifts was pretty small, the only space with a view was either the rubbish chute area or the staircase. We went through the door leading to the staircase down to the lower levels, marvelling at how the new flats were so much cleaner than the older ones in the area.
I imagined them removing their clothes and trying to find a comfortable position on the hard concrete edges of the staircase. Just the thought of it hurt. Before we start passing judgments about how gross these young people are, think about it, who would actually enjoy having sex in a stairwell?
Suddenly, the used condom on the staircase felt sad to me, rather than gross. Why would such a beautiful act of intimacy assuming they were in love have to be hidden out of sight like a shameful taboo, in the stairwell equivalent of a closet? It got me thinking about how our society views sex and intimacy, and how it affects our relationships. So whether you abstain from sex before marriage due to religious or personal beliefs, or engage in casual sex and one night stands, I respect your choices.
This article, however, is for the rest of us who fall in between two ends of the spectrum. It is for the people in committed relationships who want to explore varying degrees of sexual intimacy with their partners in Singapore, and the obstacles and issues they may face. Most young unmarried Singaporeans stay with their parents until they get a HDB flat of their own with a spouse.
Maybe in the middle of the night when everyone is asleep, you and your girlfriend manage a quickie, as quietly as possible, because the walls of her old HDB flat are paper thin. No young respectable couple should have to go through this. But if you do, the pain is real.
